


Unburden Your Load

by doctornineandthreequarters



Series: 9-1-1 Week [6]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Tsunami (9-1-1)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:14:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25212232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters
Summary: Eddie could tell something was wrong the minute Maddie walked into the station.She had a very determined look on her face and Buck looked upset and a little bit frustrated upon seeing his sister, which was unusual since the two were so close. It was clear she was there to see Buck and not Chimney, based on the way she tracked her brother’s movements around the station while she talked to Chimney.---Day 6 of 9-1-1 Week: “I’m not going.” + angst
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: 9-1-1 Week [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818655
Comments: 16
Kudos: 407





	Unburden Your Load

**Author's Note:**

> My story for day 6 of 9-1-1 Week! Enjoy!

Eddie could tell something was wrong the minute Maddie walked into the station. 

She had a very determined look on her face and Buck looked upset and a little bit frustrated upon seeing his sister, which was unusual since the two were so close. It was clear she was there to see Buck and not Chimney, based on the way she tracked her brother’s movements around the station while she talked to Chimney. 

And then the Buckley siblings were having a private conversation. 

“What’s that about?” Eddie asked, glancing at Chimney, who was also pretending he wasn’t watching the private conversation. Chimney held his hands up, clearly not wanting to get caught up in whatever was going on between the two siblings. Eddie was about to speak up when Buck’s voice echoed through the station. 

“I’m not going, Maddie! End of discussion.” He then stormed off, leaving Maddie with a sad look on her face. 

“You take one, I’ll take the other?” Chimney asked and Eddie nodded. Chimney headed towards his girlfriend while Eddie followed the path where Buck had gone. He quickly found Buck in the locker room, sitting on a bench, his head in his hands. He could see a tension in Buck’s shoulders that seemed to have been there since Maddie arrived. 

Eddie simply sat down next to Buck and waited for him to speak.

“Maddie wants me to go down to the pier.” Suddenly, Buck’s demeanor made sense. It had been a year since the tsunami, but neither had brought that up.

“You haven’t been back?” Buck just shook his head. “Buck…”

“Eddie, that was one of the worst days of my life,” Buck said, looking up at him. He could see tears in his eyes. “I can’t...I don’t think I can handle going back there.” Eddie just nodded. He knew the feeling. Christopher loved the beach and yet Eddie had been terrified to let his son go near water for months after the tsunami. 

“Would it be so bad to go?” Buck’s face paled and he shook his head. “Buck.” But then the alarm was going off. Buck quickly got up, wiping at his face and heading for his locker. Eddie could see the tension still in his shoulders but they had a job to do. 

He’d have to wait until later to continue the conversation.

* * *

Later never came. Work kept them busy with call after call. If Buck was relieved about that, he didn’t say. In fact, he said very little the rest of the shift. If he spoke to anyone, it was about a call and what to do. When they were at the station, he kept finding places to be alone, avoiding Eddie, who wanted to finish their conversation, and Chimney, who probably was going to take Maddie’s side on the situation. 

They were at Eddie’s house because Buck had agreed to a movie night before the shift started and Eddie knew the one thing he would never do was let Christopher down. And luckily, Christopher was a chatty kid and could hold a conversation with anyone. But Eddie could see the dimness in Buck’s eyes, could see Buck still stewing on the conversations from earlier.

But there was never a chance to talk about it. 

By the time Eddie had finished putting Christopher to bed, it was late. And he could see how exhausted Buck looked. As much as he wanted to talk to Buck, he knew tonight was not the night to do so. 

“You can stay here if you want,” Eddie offered as Buck glanced up from where he was sitting on the couch. Buck was about to say something but Eddie shook his head. “It’s late. Stay.” Buck sighed but just nodded. Eddie grabbed him a blanket and some pillows before wordlessly heading to his room. He had so much he wanted to ask and to just prove to Buck that he was willing to listen. But it wasn’t the right time. 

And if Buck staying over meant Eddie could ask in the morning, then he was just being a good friend.

* * *

“Daddy!” Eddie startled awake feeling Christopher shake his arm. He was confused, trying to figure out why Christopher was in his room in the middle of the night, but his son had a terrified look on his face. “Something’s wrong with Buck!” Eddie quickly got up, moving past his son and down the hallway. 

When he got to the living room, he felt his heart drop. 

Buck was sitting on the couch, clutching a pillow and breathing heavily. He could see signs of tears on his face, even in the moonlight. Eddie knew what someone after a nightmare looked like. He had seen that expression on his son’s face or in the mirror when he needed to splash water on his face after waking up in the middle of the night. Eddie quickly moved towards the couch and sat down next to him. 

“Buck?” Buck just shook his head, his chest heaving as he attempted to breathe. “Buck, hey, you’re okay.”

“C-Christopher,” Buck managed to get out. 

“Christopher’s okay Buck. He’s safe.” Buck just gasped a little for air and Eddie moved closer. “Buck, you have to breathe for me, okay? You’re safe, we’re all safe. You have to breathe.” Buck just shook his head. Eddie pulled the pillow out of Buck’s grasp and pulled him into a hug. That seemed to break whatever stupor Buck was in because a sob ripped from his throat. Eddie just held onto his as he cried. He wasn’t planning to let go, needing Buck to know what it was okay, that he was going to be okay. 

But then, Buck was pushing away, an ashamed look on his face. Eddie was about to say something when he heard Christopher making his way over.

“Buck?” Christopher asked, a timidness to his voice. Buck, who normally would scoop Christopher up the second he got close enough, just stared at the boy, fresh tears shining in his eyes. Christopher reached his hand up and let it gently lay on Buck’s cheek. “You’re gonna be okay, kid.” Buck just nodded and scooped Christopher up, hugging the boy. Christopher let one arm wrap around Buck, his head resting on Buck’s shoulder. 

He used his other arm to reach out for Eddie. And Eddie just smiled a little, wrapping his arms around both of them. 

“We’re here Buck, we’ve got you.” And he meant it. And he wanted Buck to know that he was safe with the two of them. That they were always going to have each other’s backs. So, he just held onto him and Christopher, hoping Buck knew that.

* * *

Buck let out a shaky breath as the car came to a stop. The pier loomed before them, fully reconstructed after the disaster last year. He didn’t want to do this, but he knew he had to.

“Ready?” He glanced over at Eddie, who was just offering him a kind smile. He tilted his head back to look at Christopher, a similar look on his face. 

“As I’ll ever be.” Eddie nodded and then they were all getting out of the car. Christopher quickly made his way over to Buck, keeping as close to the taller man’s side as possible. Buck felt his heart beating a little faster as he stared at the pier. He thought he could handle this, but now staring at the pier, with the thumping of his heart in his ears, he didn’t know. 

But then Christopher looked up at him with that thousand watt smile and he knew he had to try. 

So, they started walking. 

Every noise was startling him, dragging him back to the day of the tsunami. But then he could hear Christoper, telling Eddie everything they did that day. He talked about the snacks and the rides. He giggled about the ride that Buck was too tall for, earning a chuckle from Eddie. And he talked about the bear he won. 

“We should win you a new one,” Eddie said and Buck felt his eyes on him. 

“Only if Buck helps me.” Buck attempted a smile, but he knew it looked forced. 

“Maybe in a bit, Superman.” Christopher just nodded as they kept moving towards the water. The thumping in his ears was replaced now by the phrase that had haunted him for weeks. 

_Where did all the water go?_

For weeks, that had been all he heard in his nightmares, right before the water crashed down on him. He was hearing it again now. It was dragging him away from where he was, back to the worst day. 

But then he felt someone pulling him to sit down on a bench. 

“You’re okay, Buck.” The water wasn’t crashing down on him anymore. He was on the pier. The water hadn’t receded away. And Eddie was sitting next to him, his hand on Buck’s shoulder. The hand was gentle and yet it was grounding him, keeping him in the moment. He glanced past Eddie and saw Christopher leaning on his crutches, happily staring at the water. 

“We’re all okay Buck. You made it.” Buck just nodded. 

“I’m sorry.” Eddie went to say something but Buck shook his head. “I know I’m a mess and I’m sorry. I don’t know why you’re willing to put up with me like this and I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Eddie’s voice was gentle, his thumb finding the patch of skin near his clavicle. “We’re here for you. I’m here for you.”

“Why?” Buck couldn’t understand why Eddie would put up with him like this, especially after Christopher saw him break down after a nightmare. He was embarrassed and ashamed and he had expected Eddie to tell him to suck it up or to deal with it on his own. 

But then he looked at Eddie, really looked at him. His deep, brown eyes were watching him. But it wasn’t just an observational watch. There was something else there, something different. 

And then it hit him. 

“Oh.” Eddie chuckled, a small smile crossing his face. “I didn’t...I didn’t think…”

“Why not?” Eddie asked. “We spend all our free time. I trust you more than anyone in this world. You love Christopher. Why wouldn’t I fall in love with you?” Buck blushed and Eddie’s smile just grew. “You don’t have to say anything back, but you know now, so-” His words were cut off when Buck placed a kiss to his lips.

“I love you too.”

“Oh good,” Eddie said, before kissing Buck again. Buck let out a content sigh, letting his forehead fall against Eddie’s. Eddie’s thumb caressed Buck’s jaw as a smile crossed Buck’s face. 

“Dad, Buck.” They pulled away, ever so slightly, hearing Christopher’s voice. “Can we go win the bear now?" Eddie just chuckled, but glanced at Buck. And Buck just grinned widely before getting up and scooping Christopher up. Christopher just giggled happily.

“Let’s do it Superman.” Christopher nodded and Buck glanced at Eddie. “Coming Eds?” He offered Eddie his free hand. Eddie smiled before letting his fingers lace through Buck’s and standing. And as they headed down the pier towards the carnival game, Buck finally felt like a weight had lifted off his chest. 

He finally felt like he was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> [Scream with me on my Tumblr?](http://doctornineandthreequarters.tumblr.com)


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